So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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