I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
