considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
