Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
