all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
