hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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