I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
