Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
