If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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