i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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