for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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