I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
