Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We need to get me chipped asap
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
