i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
