I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
