I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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