Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
