i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
