I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
