I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
