strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
MIDGETS
????
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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