Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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