I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
