first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
And my parents said I crawled through the house
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
