so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
