Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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