sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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