i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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