I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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