My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The feeling are messing with the penis
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
