In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
