do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
