when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
