I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
