I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
