Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
