On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
