sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
