hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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