I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
