Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
