When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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