If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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