I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We need a shit load of segways right now
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
