I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
