I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
