Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
