I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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