The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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