Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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