I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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